Tuesday, 24 February 2015

FEAR + DOUBT: Results Within the Thought Process

Before a conscious thought that could be expressed in words is born, my mind goes through an entire process of "pre" thinking. 

Playing with my thought process one evening, I was able to see the different stages that my mind goes through (within a millisecond) in order to get to a conscious, firm thought / conclusion.

The greatest discovery from the exercise was the realization of how quickly my patterns of Fear and Doubt enter into each equation!  I have perfected the pattern of inserting these two into almost everything that goes through my mind.

Which means Fear and Doubt affect almost all my decisions and actions!  
And; therefore, most outcomes! 

My mind tricks me.
Instead of calling Fear and Doubt as they are, my mind gives them other names depending on circumstance.
The list goes on...

Examples with Fear and Doubt:
thought:  Perhaps I can also enter into that art contest.
realistic reply:  Nope, look at all those awesome artists, there is no way you even stand a chance.

thought: Oohhh I want some tea with chocolate!
responsible reply:  Nope, that will make you fat and caffeinated and plain no good.

Thought Process with Fear & Doubt Inserted

GAME: How to Catch Fear and Doubt

Feelings are the answer.  I suggest playing a game with your thoughts.  Have a quiet space to just relax and watch your thoughts go by.  Think of something that makes you feel good.  See how quickly that feeling is interfered with.  The instant you feel your true happiness and excitement changes to something slightly more negative is the moment in your thoughts you want to revisit.

You might want to see what the interference with the feeling of happiness feels like. Sometimes you might label it, 'SADNESS', sometimes the feeling is too complex for words.  Just feeling it is enough. 

Try talking to the feeling too,
"Hi, who are you?  What are you doing here?  Where did you come from?"
Pause after every question.  Often the answer comes within moments.  Answers come in a variety of ways, not just words.  Sometimes an event from the past pops into memory, or a person's face or another feeling that is connected to something else in your life.  I would encourage anyone to follow these little clues deeper into themselves.  I am often surprised and thankful to find out where they lead.

It is a fun game.  What is there to lose?

After playing this game...

I tried following my thought process again, but this time completely canceling any negative influences.  Results were not only positive, but amazingly unexpected!!

Examples without Fear and Doubt:

thought:  Oohhh I want some tea with chocolate!
reply:  Why not?
thought:  Well I just wanted to make myself happier about the last thought of not being good enough for an art contest.
reply:  Just go for it.  It will be fun.

Thought Process without Negative Influence

I started to realize things about myself I was not consciously grasping.
Working with these new realizations I was able to improve my state of mind within moments!

Is this some sort of magic?

Sunday, 15 February 2015

The Lions

An old painting sketch from 2012, found in my art supplies.  Took the time to finish what was half done and abandoned a few years ago.  A bit of the new and old combo.  Nice to have it finished.

The Lions

acrylic on canvas
11" x 14"

Saturday, 7 February 2015

Going Backwards in Life

I have been working on self-growth and self-improvement full time for over 3 years now.  After a while on this path, certain patterns start to emerge.  One major one for me is the feeling of going backwards.  One day I may feel on a roll, making amazing progress in many aspects of my mind and life.  The next moment, I find myself facing a familiar dilemma from say 3 months ago and then 7 months ago and all my life it seems.  A dilemma that keeps reappearing in my life.  Something I felt and hoped would have been let go long ago, only to sneakily reappear a bit further on in life to make me feel like I am going backwards.

Situations like this are often met with frustration within me and then doubt of whether or not I am actually learning ANYTHING!

My fellow co-adventurers on this mission called Life.  If you encounter similar feelings and fears do not worry.  Here is what I have figured out and what may actually be working in your life as well.

We are NOT going backwards!  (Woo hoo!)

Some lessons in life are intricate and full of complexity.  Learning a lesson that Life has provided for us does not always feel "good".  Once we learn a part of it we feel relief and are able to let that part go.  This does not mean; however, that we have learned everything there is to learn from this lesson.  It is like a video game with levels.  Once we complete one level we feel great, celebrate, take a break.  Then we go back to conquer the next level in order to complete the entire game.

Life presents us with lessons level by level.  Once we conquer one level in a lesson sometimes we are given a break.  The break may be a minute long or a few months long, but eventually, if the full lesson has not yet been learned we are presented with it again some time down the road.  We recognize the lesson from our past.  We remember working on it.  We wonder; 

Why is this happening again?  
Am I going backwards?  
Am I making ANY real progress?! 

The lesson reemerges not to take us back to the beginning, but to pick up from where we have left off so we can continue learning.  Life is a great instructor!  It pushes us to learn, but at our own pace without overloading us to the extreme.

Some lessons are extremely challenging, yes.  But let us be honest.  Once the lesson is learned life becomes so much more amazing!

Sunday, 1 February 2015

Under The Sea

Thankful to these jolly creatures and their bright environment!
Through the process of creating them I have learned some important stuff and was able to let many things go.

Under The Sea

acrylic on canvas
2.5' x 3'

Here are a few close ups.

And sometimes it's fun to take a peak at the process too.